Scrolling down Facebook feed then scrolling back up, the only nightmare where being appalled keeps you looking for more. Maybe it’s the ‘I don’t care about your life’ part, or ‘jeez how lame’ kind of judgment that makes it even more addictive. But I would give it a shot to dream of scrolling down a Facebook feed where I won’t have to force myself not to judge.
In a Dream Facebook Feed,
1- My friend from high school wouldn’t update me by the minute about how much he loves his girlfriend. A deep love that is worthy of sharing with Facebook friends is not supposed to be changing by the minute, so no need for all these updates.
2- A ‘Bored’ status would automatically get spammed by the system, and never crosses my path. Facebook would auto-correct it by what the person actually meant to say: ‘anyone up for a fun adventure?’. Asking for company might find you a partner at the other end who is also looking for such a thing. But stating how bored you are is just a turn off, and doesn’t help anyone.
3- Unless my girlfriend from college is a star who brands herself by her looks, I would see an auto portrait of her only once a month (at most). No duck faces, preferably.
4- 80% of statuses add value to my knowledge, whether it’s a joke, a video illustrating a fail behavior, or a simple status that shares a cool idea.
5- Adding YOLO as a cover picture is still fine by me, but whining about how ‘haters will hate’ is not.
6- My hilariously cool friend does not remind me by the minute of how cool his life is, how many events he attends per week, and how all hot girls gather around him (or in fact around his champagne bottle) in the pool.
7- Spammer pages don’t share with me fake stories where I have to go to a spam detector to check if it’s real.
8- None of my friends send subliminal messages to their exes through a “Some ecards” quote.
9- None, and really none, of my friends LIKE a picture to “tell Jesus how much they love him”, nor do they type ‘L’ to see what happens with the picture.
10- A link about the future of earth gets more interaction then Lady Gaga’ s picture lying in her bed.
11- On mother’s day, love statuses get addressed only to moms who ARE on Facebook and do check their profiles.
12- When a celebrity dies, only few people share her quotes, those who really knew how she lived and who she was.
My dream feed is probably a reflection of my dream world, one free of drama, smart, full of positive energy, and where people share and discuss value-adding ideas.