“To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love”- Jane Austen.
I would like to tell you a little story. It’s about your body and mine.
You may have not been a biology fan in 8th grade; but if you are fond of what an orgasm does to your body, you will surely want to hear it. Why would someone want to go through life without the luxury of understanding what happens to their body in such a disruptive moment anyway.
Truth is, at the excitement of writing these words, a rush of adrenaline runs in my blood, the same beautiful and merciless hormone that invades your body during an orgasm, in much larger amounts, and accelerates your heartbeat, allowing a flushing of blood across your different organs.
Your body goes even further than that and releases the so called ‘love hormone’, oxytocin. It is the hormone that gives you the urge to love and cuddle with your partner after sex, and is additionally involved in a plethora of social and affective behaviors, ranging from attachment security, to mating, paternal behavior, and motherhood.
It still seems unclear to me; how did sex turn out to be thought of as a mere physical exercise?
Because apparently, we dared as a modern society, yet again, to conceptualise one of the most sophisticated and mysterious human physical phenomena, into its simpler forms, and scrap it from its real values.
Because contrary to all sports, it is a physical activity you dress up to go to, wear your most sensual perfume, brush your hair, and, walk into someone else’s body instead of the gym. It is an activity you devote your best looks and presence to do, because it simply isn’t just A physical activity. It is the one that brings lives into this world, and the one where your body strings to another’s in nature’s utmost finesse and glamour.
I wonder how we grew to overlook this finesse, and decided to let go of such strings, just to invent something as silly as the ‘no strings attached’.
I wonder if we knew that our bodies were designed to fall (I’m not gonna say in love) in affection after sex.
Medical science keeps telling us that sex can be healthy in many ways. Casual sex is in fact also a way to fulfil self-confidence and pleasure. It may be all that and more.
As Woody Allen puts it “Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”
It is damn good, and because it’s so damn good, it’s so damn addictive, but not only to it but to the person of it.
Hence, continuously being with one person and assuming it is casual sex and that no strings will be attached is completely foolish. It is humanity’s most absurd non sense, at least as far as your body internally reacts to it, if not to your practical life.
For the sake of practicality that we came to live by and worship above all other values, and the need for a sense of self-enjoyment in a fast and love-impractical world, it remains less deceiving to be completely detached and get to know different partners than fooling yourself that one person, whose oxytocin and all other emotional chemicals are dozing off in your sheets every single day is having that moment with you under the umbrella of such a thing called “no strings attached”.
It may be even better if we forget about all practical choices, and make happy love ones.